Queueing

Sorry to get all British, but queueing is a fascination/addiction.  A queue is a line - such as at the supermarket check-out or a gas station fill-up.  Most people think it simple and straight forward principle:  When someone leaves, everyone moves up.  Simpleton!  This stuff is complex with college-level courses to boot.

Engineers use queueing to understand how many cars make it through a green light.  Please note:

• The first person in the line gunning it doesn't do anything
• Providing another driver in line the finger may reduce your ability to get through the light
• Swearing improves your mood (not technically part of queueing, but whatever)
• There is no formula to hit all green lights - hey, it's math, not magic!

Merging traffic is a queue system combining two lines.  Theoretically, optimal performance dictates the use of all lanes available and an even ratio when merging - like a zipper, if you will.  So, inching forward to prevent the jerk who jumped into the off-ramp from merging is referred to as sub-optimal.  Although yelling 'eat my exhaust, cretin' seems to help.

Driving on the highway is a queue with velocity introduced.  There are technical terms in the system.  Like that son-of-a-monkey's-brother who cut you off to go 45 mph so he can see an open road ahead isn't called a jack ass.  Officially, he is called a disruptor.  Avoid them at all costs.

This may all drive the better half CRAZY, but it really comes to a head with check-out lines.  This isn't something rushed into.  You have to assess how many lines are open, how many people are in the lines, and how much they have in their hands/carts.  Then, you have to understand the throughput ratio of the cashier - they aren't all created equally, you know.  Finally, you have to be able to adjust!  Price checks on Preparation H or significant couponage or the addition of an incremental line (with a cold cashier), all have to be assessed in determining if you need to switch lines boldly.  And be willing to throw some elbows around, if needed.  The fate of your checkout time is at stake here.

Because you have to ask yourself, are you optimal?  Well, are ya, punk?